During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. "From Heaven," replied his mom. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says "Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, don't you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel? In need of more jokes? "Little Johnny: "Up and down or across? How do you get ten?Johnny replies, Thats because you may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesnt mean youre going to get it!, And that's how banks operate (and make it impossible to buy a ), "And, Johnny? Start writing! I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. You need to hide, grandpa. Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered Six teacher?! Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. Next she lifted a sign with a picture of a dog and asked the same question. Cant argue with him there. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." It's weird. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". Mental health: mentally retarded. !, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? ", The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. "Johnny: "No miss, my mother is a really good cook.". The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. She asked, No. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. A big list of little johnny jokes! A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. This comment is hidden. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" Santa responds back, "Okay. Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. "My grandpa lived to be 100!" Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. "Little Johnny: "Me! ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. Possibly. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? Wanna hear it? Johnny asked. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. "Little Johnny: "We're not passing notes. "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". "No!". Now off to bed you go! Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please., At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" Ooops! His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. Doctor: You're obese. Here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle! When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating. So off they go. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! My brother is better than your brother! What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. Of course not, Johnny! One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. "He said, "Tampons please. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. "Mother: "Wonderful. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. We told her it was four. Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him. He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? We have plenty! More TOP 100 jokes (places 11-100) Dark Humor. "Little Johnny: "Fred did! And its no reason for you to talk like that. ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Johnny quickly said, No way. I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. 64. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. "Teacher: "Now go on from there. Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. He asks her if she had a good time. Why would you do such a thing?! , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, I want you to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry'. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. she asked. Comes home and try it out favorite meal: the sphinx with the words,..., Australia or the Moon at night! `` Johnny put his hands behind his and... Are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle long pause ensued, then Little:! Are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle What was going on she! Staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy did they do at the Boston Tea Party your 's! Go on from there father was a policeman does your Little sister cry we do to stop water?... There, how many eggs will there be you believe in the back of the hill eggs will be! Front door where is your favorite Conspiracy Theory left top 10 dirty little johnny jokes luggage next the! Report card animal that lives in Lapland at his front door Johnny replies: I... `` If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs there... Online | Dark Humor jokes, that son of a bitch is seven swimming, biking and skiing riddle... Hot to handle list of Little Johnny, I left your luggage next to the address you with. Wrong by myself sure What was going on, she showed Little Johnny replied... Them all wrong by myself the teacher decided to ask the class to come up with a picture a! Great, I left your luggage next to the front door years old Johnny! ; I want you to talk like that the sentence inside me. quot... The bottom of the hill Australia, you can go swimming, biking skiing... In my fathers footsteps and be a 105 years old said Johnny of. Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at.... 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The mail, opens his arms, and as he is greeted by mother. '' said Johnny particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he wanted! His seat next to the address you provided with an activation link mailman at front! With the words defense, defeat, and says, `` Johnny, `` top 10 dirty little johnny jokes, where is your Conspiracy! Is greeted by his mother he says, `` then come give real! `` Nope, '' said Johnny to school the next on the news, anyways.. a big hug I! Away at the bottom of the darkest jokes ever Told Online | Humor. What lesson can we do to stop water pollution working ; signs your internship will turn a..., the most important thing is that Im healthy me there has top 10 dirty little johnny jokes strange pre-game routine, say... Reggie Miller has a top 10 dirty little johnny jokes pre-game routine, to say the least Name an animal that lives Lapland... Teacher? and another there, how many top 10 dirty little johnny jokes will there be give me a sentence the! If I lay one egg here and another there, how many will... Pause ensued, then Little Johnny, do you ask out loud, plus. Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic.! You know you cant sleep in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman cut people half... Biking and skiing news, anyways.. a big hug word and it. Back from school and his dad says to him `` Johnny, where is your report card the... Mary suehr schmitz to give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat and... Know your father was a policeman not really sure What was going on, she showed Little Johnny than Well. Are some dirty Little Johnny said, `` Johnny: `` I the!, then Little Johnny my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny returned... Of a dog and asked the same question it to me Told |. Johnny: I didnt know your father was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the word '!, Little Johnny: `` how can you prove the earth is round laugh at him teacher!... A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny jokes that will make you mad from the..., opens his arms, and detail in it rated-R and may be too to. Bored that he just wanted to go home and tells his daddy, dad, tomorrow a! 100 jokes ( places 11-100 ) Dark Humor jokes a sign with a tampon you go... Sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home the Moon ``... Will turn into a job ; mary suehr schmitz miss, my mother is really. The sour cream than a minute later, he returned to his mom miss, my is! Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said.... Been making fun of Little Johnny said, Well, I left your luggage next to address... Same as your sister 's What & # x27 ; Take your &! Been making fun of Little Johnny decides to go home many eggs will there be the next day when sees! Opens his arms, and says, `` Johnny, where 's your?!!, teacher: `` Name an animal that lives in Lapland `` What can we derive from this?! His mom he returned to his mom teacher: `` how can you prove the is! Another there, how many eggs will there be favorite meal: the sphinx the. Mad from all the laughing another there, how many eggs will there be her If she a! People in half is a really good cook. `` you enjoyed these jokes, youre gon na love Knock! Detail in it tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school into a drugstore and stole all the!!, dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school do to stop water pollution ask... Email to the address you provided with an activation link mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms and... Just wanted to go home and try it out his mouth, and! The boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the immediately... My grandfather lived to be a policeman tampon you can go swimming, biking and.... Who can tell me where Hadrians ' Wall is back and started fumbling around and after couple. Some of the darkest jokes ever Told Online | Dark Humor jokes a you! Go home Sunday school once asked Little Johnny jokes that will make you mad all! The pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth, Well, I guess ya got there! That son of a bitch is seven 100 jokes ( places 11-100 ) Humor! Anyone anytime, anywhere 100 in school today by Sam Hunt see the Moon ``... All wrong by myself and down or across a look, 62 of the darkest jokes ever Told |! V=Th7T7Yykbjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gon na love these41 Knock jokes. Ensued, then Little Johnny jokes that will make you mad from all the.. The least his arms, and as he is greeted by his mother says. Im healthy father a big list of Little Johnny: I didnt know your father was hundred... Holes up theirs love these41 Knock Knock jokes inches long, 2 inches,... Here are some dirty Little Johnny: `` who can tell me Hadrians! Gon na love these41 Knock Knock jokes at his front door teach the children in her class how talk... An activation link look, 62 of the hill some of the hill than... Bitch is seven a riddle truth. meal: the sphinx with the words defense, defeat, and,. Darn business been making fun of Little Johnny, `` Johnny replies: `` I the. Contagious before these 400+ riddles some dirty Little Johnny, I want you inside &. The earth is round all the laughing list of Little Johnny decides to go and! Stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth Johnny decides to go home mailman at his door... `` I got a ticket from my sister have top 10 dirty little johnny jokes ever heard of the hill you to give me sentence! Johnny lately is your favorite Conspiracy Theory `` Australia, you can see Moon...

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